In September of 2014, a few weeks after Lorna passed away, I was attending a Regional Conference being broadcast to our Stake Center. Elder Russel M. Nelson was the Presiding Authority. As his wife Wendy Nelson was speaking, I heard a baby cry. My immediate thought was: If there were one hundred babies in a room, and their mothers were in another room occupied with a project that required their attentiveness, the mother whose baby cried would hear that cry. The other ninety nine would not.
As quoted in the first post Unexpected Miracle, President Joseph F Smith, of loved ones who have passed: “We live in their presence, they see us, they are solicitous for our welfare, they love us now more than ever”. Elder Charles Callis: “Death does not congeal the lips of those who go before us; they are not far from us and they help us more than we know.”
I believe that the love they have for us is unconditional, and without judgement. They understand the game we are playing and that our opponents are a fallen nature, and a fallen angel.
In The Family, A Proclamation to the World: “Husband and wife have a solemn responsibility to love and care for each other and for their children.”
The passing of a mother or father does not abdicate that responsibility. Nor would they want to be relieved of their primary duty. The most important people in their lives are their families. “…they are solicitous for our welfare, they love us now more than ever”. The word “solicitous” means: full of anxiety and concern, showing hovering attentiveness.
Our oldest son Scott in a dream of his mother in August of 2015. He saw his mother, approached her and gave her a big hug. He was thinking to himself, “I’ve got to hold on tight so she can’t leave”. She pulled her head back, looked him in the eyes, and very matter of factly said “Scott, it’s my job to take care of the family.” With that she was gone.
Our daughter Calli Lewis:
About 6 months after my mom passed away I was in my kitchen listening to the radio. I was fighting feeling sad that I couldn’t call my mom. Then, a song that I had never heard before started playing. The song was Never Alone by Jesse Bonano.
As soon as I heard the first phrase tears started pouring down my cheeks. As I sat and listened to the words of this song I realized that I had been uttering a silent, pleading prayer that I was unaware of. When the lyric stated “When the courage you needed has been all but defeated in you” I realized that my fighting will to hold on to her was fading and I was scared; scared that what I was believing was wrong and that what I had heard over and over again–”You can feel them for a minute but eventually the veil closes and they go away”—was true. I was holding on so tight, and it had taken so much courage, almost like I hadn’t fully exhaled since she had passed, for fear it would all slip away. This song answered all of my unspoken fears.
The next morning as I woke up I heard her voice in my mind say over and over again “I am not dead, I am not gone”.
Mothers hear their babies’ cries. So do Fathers.
Don Coplin, a very dear friend:
…I share some experiences that, while unique to me, perhaps shouldn’t be to any of us willing to allow such experiences.
The last few years have been challenging in many ways. I have dealt with financial, health, and family issues with no let up nor any light at the end of the tunnel. They each wax and wane occasionally in severity but continue on. Ever the optimist, I have mostly put on my “game” face and slogged on thru repeated assaults on my patience, trusting in the Lord and striving to find new ways of overcoming my particular difficulties.
During one of my darkest moments of hopelessness, I was driving to meet with a Doctor who was going to administer a trial procedure to address one of my health issues. I was feeling rather down and was silently praying for some direction in which I could have confidence. I began to feel very warm inside my chest and was overcome with a sense of emotion I had never experienced before. I began sobbing and realized that there was a “presence” in my truck with me. I knew that it was my Father who had passed away 19 years ago. I continued to sob and finally got the courage to speak. I said, “Where have you been? I have missed you so much”! I heard my Father say to me, “Don, I am always with you, everything is going to be okay”. I continued to cry to him and began to ask about my health, financial and family difficulties. Before I could form the sentences, he spoke again saying, with emphasis, “EVERYTHING, will be okay!”
An incredible calm came over me at that point. We continued on in silence and then his presence began to fade. The love I felt, the caring I felt, were indescribable. Never have I felt such a feeling.
I have also come to recognize the many times in the past when he guided me without my realizing his influence.
I have come to believe that when we think of them, somehow they know it. Sometimes when we think of them, it is because they are thinking of us and want us to remember them.
In my first post Unexpected Miracle I mentioned that I have received, to date, 57 Love Notes from Lorna. The first—and probably most important— was “Please, don’t forget me”.
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